I typically reserve that right for close friends and family and usually it has to be a pretty big I told you so moment to even pull out that gun.

When it comes to acquaintances, I typically say I told you so in my head so as not to appear to be that person.

Anyway, I hate to be the guy who told you so, but for one day I'm going to be that guy, the guy who tells you so.

You may recall last year I wrote this riveting piece about a panacea I called the Striper Club — link provided to refresh your memory so I can tell you so.

Turns out, with the state stripping away, no pun intended, about every privilege license fee it can think of from cities, the only thing there is left to tax locally are adult entertainment businesses, adult entertainers, beer and wine and taxis and limos.

It's kind of funny the old 180 — or is that 360, I never can figure it out — life hands you when the state sees fit to take money away from communities and now my plan for the Striper Club doesn't seem so farfetched.

The problem is, Roanoke Rapids doesn't have any adult entertainment businesses and if there are any adult entertainers, they've probably high-tailed it, pun intended, to Gentlemen's Row in Rocky Mount, depriving our city of any of the perks that could be collected from such establishments.

These are the things you can learn by attending city council meetings, that there are no adult entertainment businesses in Roanoke Rapids and with the situation the state has left cities in I believe it's high time we got on the recruiting bandwagon and went nuts.

The state actually did us a favor, leaving us only the taxes that go g-string to g-string and pasty to pasty with adult entertainment businesses and adult entertainers — beer and wine and taxis and limos.

Obviously, when you go to an adult entertainment business to see adult entertainers you want to ride in a taxi or limo so you don't get a DWI after consuming taxable beer and wine after spending many hours and many dollars looking at taxable adult entertainers.

The news at Tuesday's city council meeting delighted me because I try to be optimistic in the face of politics and look at the D-cup as half full. Despite the repeal of most of the former privilege license fees representing a $370,000 loss to city coffers, to me it's prime opportunity to begin recruiting adult entertainment businesses and adult entertainers to the city and charge a hefty tax for both, a sin tax if you will.

As I, like Orwell, foretold, the creation of a burlesque club like my Striper Club — copyright Lance Martin, et al — is going to revive the city like the theater never could. Get the Striper Club going, get a Dita Von Teese or Bernie Dexter at the grand opening and we'll all be saying, “Theater? What theater?”

Heck, we'll have five theaters, shopping galore and no need to even worry about whether adult softball, which I suppose could actually be adult entertainment, will be in jeopardy because the only problem will be which field do we play at this week.

Adult softball players can hold their post-game parties at the adult entertainment businesses while adult entertainers coax them to buy beer and wine and taxis and limos wait outside to take them home. Most adult entertainment businesses would jump at the chance to sponsor a team.

So, yeah, I was pretty excited to see the only thing left for us to tax is the one thing most of us don't want to think about as sparking the economic revival here.

My Libertarian leanings tell me, however, if we don't have it here, people are only going to spend their adult entertainment business and adult entertainer dollars elsewhere, so why not put to good use the only thing the state let us keep?

I know my my Libertarian leanings are supposed to be anti-tax, but I'm allowed to flip-flop, just like the many members of the GOP who voted for John McCain in 2008 are now pouncing on him because Donald Trump says so.

Like I say, I'm not typically an I told you so kind of guy, but there's probably a bevy of adult entertainers just waiting to set foot in the Striper Club and be taxed as well the other adult entertainment businesses that will open if we can have an open mind to the options the state has left us with. See, I told you so — Lance Martin