The next time I order iced soy mocha, I want it extra cold. At least that’s what I told the attendant at the Starbucks drive-through this evening.

See, the person ahead of me ordered a caramel latte — extra hot with no foam and drizzle.

I got that look I get when something puzzles me — eyebrows furrowed and a goofy sneer — and I wasn’t going to let this pass without a few questions.

I’m not a Starbucks expert. I just know what I like and it’s usually a soy mocha or an iced soy mocha.

I didn’t know you could get your drink extra hot and I sure didn’t know you could request no foam.

Foam doesn’t bother me. After years of shaving I know foam is an important part of life. It helps retain the flavor of Red Oak amber lager and is important in fire suppression so I would say I’m pro-foam.

Drizzle is another matter. Since I order my occasional iced soy mochas and regular soy mochas without whipped cream, drizzle is not a crucial part of my beverage experience. In fact, drizzle always reminds me of some fancy restaurant where they drizzle the drizzle on the plate and drizzle little on the dessert itself. What’s the point? Don’t try to dazzle me with drizzle when the dessert will be gone in 60 seconds. Just give me something with traditional icing on it.

When it finally came my turn to get my delicious beverage, I asked the attendant, or barista as they call them, just what constitutes extra hot. Steam, she said.

What about the foam? We scoop it off, she said, laughing at my observation, which made me feel good. While I always celebrate my own humor, it’s important that others recognize it, too.

I didn’t ask her what they did with the scooped off foam. Maybe I should. There’s probably a new drink in the making — perhaps a foam mint chip cappuccino or foam blonde roast brew with hazelnut drizzle. We’ll save the foam question for another column.

Well, I said, since I ordered an iced soy mocha, can I get mine extra cold? Apparently, the friendly barista said, while you can make stuff extra hot, you can’t make stuff extra cold. She essentially said it’s as cold as it’s going to get.

I would disagree with this but to prove my point it would probably mean a huge investment on Starbucks’ part to buy some cryogenic equipment that probably doesn’t exist.

Still, it seems to my feeble mind, if you can get your drink extra hot with no foam and drizzle, you could get your drink extra cold with plenty of foam and no drizzle. Maybe it’s just me, but it would be worth a shot and I will keep insisting on having my iced soy mocha served at minus 50 degrees until Starbucks buys the cryogenic equipment or they ban me from the place for being stupid — Lance Martin