I have no problem with extended breastfeeding but the kid is going to grow up to hate his mother.

That was my immediate thought when I saw the May 21 cover of Time Magazine, which features Jamie Lynn Grumet, a proponent of attachment parenting, breastfeeding her nearly 4-year-old son, Aram.

I know nothing about attachment parenting. I do know this kid is going to hate his mother and will endure taunts and teases from his friends for the rest of his life.

One can imagine little Aram never thought his day would include a photo shoot for a national magazine where he had to suck milk from his mother’s breast. I’m sure he thought his day would be spent doing 3-year-old things like playing with blocks, running around the house, trying to ride the dog and drawing on walls.

Just looking at the photo you can tell the child was not comfortable with this idea and would have rather been playing with a box.

His play date pals are probably like, “Dude, did you see that picture of Aram in Time? What the …”

“I know, dude, what was his mom thinking? I was embarrassed enough when my folks put me in cutesy Onesies, but to put me in a chair and do that? Dude, that’s whack!”

“I know, man, when my mom wanted to keep my hair in curls I thought I was gonna barf. Thank, God, dad stepped in on that one, dude.”

Baby Twitter accounts probably went viral when the photo was released and there’s no telling how many subscribers Aram got on his infant Facebook just to see what his reaction would be.

I would imagine Aram’s first day of kindergarten would be a hellish nightmare for him when kid pranksters post copies of the photo in the bathroom.

The fact that Aram’s mom is, well, hot, doesn’t help matters because there will probably be kids lining up at the Grumet house hoping to sneak a peek.

The taunts as he gets older, calling his mom the name kids call moms when they’re attractive — it almost sounds like milk — will probably become unbearable and one day Aram will go off and join a bottle feeding cult or write a tell all bestseller simply called, “Attach This! How I Came to Hate My Mother.”

Aram will become an international spokesman for detached parenting and his own kids will be bottle-fed, setting up help lines for other kids whose mothers decide to pose for Time.

All this leads me to wonder whether Playboy has contacted Grumet, not for another breastfeeding shoot, but for the kind of shoots Playboy does best. That might be more scarring for the kid than the original Time Magazine shoot.

It’s doubtful and Grumet does have something to say and is passionate about attachment parenting although her website — I am not the babysitter — was down this morning.

I honestly hope Aram doesn’t grow up to hate his mother but, still, I’d burn those extra hundred of copies of Time just to make sure.

Lance Martin is editor and publisher of rrspin.com