Like much of my attempts at humor, it often falls flat, but I think it brings up some fairly good points about the flaws of technology.

I simply ask the cashier what happens if the amount I'm paying is not correct. Do we get to barter? Could I bring in livestock to make up the difference? Do I get an item for free?

I'm usually met with a sympathetic smile that seems to say this man needs serious psychological help. Other times I'm met with this look that says there are other customers behind you. The ones that bite say they just don't know and go back to the sympathetic smile that suggests I need serious psychological help.

To me, there's something eerie about questions asked by the card swipe machine. It kind of reminds me of HAL 9000 in 2001: A Space Odyssey, and I wonder if at some point it will begin asking me personal questions about my daily hygiene regimen or whether I prefer plastic or paper. I often wonder if it will just go berserk and short circuit itself into some confusing Matrix syndrome.

The problem in the machine asking whether the amount is correct is that it assumes I know what I'm paying. I'm not the kind of shopper who carries a calculator with me and adds items up as I go and I don't use phone applications that do the same. While I usually carry my phone in the store with me — keeping things of value in your car is dangerous these days — about the only thing I use it for is to field calls or take pictures of grocery items I find odd or amusing.

Most of the amusing things I find in the grocery store appear in the bagged cereal aisle or in the off-brand soda lane — thank you, Dr. Perky soda and Captain Choco cereal.

The only one who knows if the amount I'm paying is correct is the machine. I'm trusting the products have been properly scanned and the machine has been programmed correctly. So maybe there should be an option where the customer can ask the machine, “Are YOU sure the amount you're asking me to pay is correct?”

The cashier and myself are both dependent on the machine to ask me if I want cash back or if the amount it's showing me is correct. There's no option to barter if I feel the amount I'm paying is incorrect and I think there's no more little sticky pieces of paper on soup cans that show us the price.

What we have done in our efforts to make things more convenient is actually another effort to take away human contact and interaction.

The machine knows I can't really dispute the price, although in my estimation everything is way overpriced these days. I think this may be the real reason the machine is programmed to ask if the amount is correct because there's no recourse for the customer to demand a recount or barter for a better price, even if it means coming back with a pig or sheep to make up the difference.

In short, it's another way to herd us through the store and move on to the next customer. The machine has the upper hand in all of this because it even knows how much I have in my bank account.

The cashier really has no say in the matter because he or she is at the mercy of the machine as much as I am.

It seems to me the day of the pricing gun and little sticky pieces of papers on soup cans was the way to go. At least you could watch the cashier punch in the numbers and tell if they were pressing a thumb on your grapes when weighing them. The sticky pieces of paper were also good for dishonest people who wanted to pull a fast one on dimwitted clerks by switching the 79 cents sticky paper on soup to a six-pack of Pabst.

One of these days I'm going to bring in some livestock and when the machine asks me if the amount is correct I'm going to press no and tell the clerk this is all I have — two sheep, a cow and goat for $100 worth of groceries. It would definitely be a welcome addition to my mundane schtick and I'm sure HAL would be in computer heaven smiling at his evil spawn, the card swipe machine — Lance Martin